How Fashion Helped Me Heal and Build Confidence
At SUITable
At SUITable, my mission has always been to show that confidence and style belong to everyone - especially plus-size men who have too often been told that fashion isn’t for them. But before I ever posted a single outfit or photo, I had to overcome something deeply personal: the fear of standing out.
The Fear of Being Seen
For years, I worried that if I dressed too boldly, people would think I was conceited or thought too highly of myself. I admired confident, stylish men from afar, but I didn’t think I could be one of them.
I equated humility with blending in. What I didn’t realize was that by hiding behind “safe” clothing choices, I was also hiding the parts of myself that made me feel alive and creative.
I was recently in Santa Fe, NM, performing in Puccini’s Gianni Schicchi with a company called Opera West!. This is my fifth production with this company, and being in Santa Fé is always such a rewarding experience. I truly enjoy making music alongside so many talented artists. Over the years, I’ve built some wonderful relationships with singers I’ve had the pleasure of sharing the stage with multiple times, but each production also brings new faces and fresh energy.
Some wonderful colleagues and singers in our performance of Puccini’s “Gianni Schicchi” in Santa Fe, NM, October, 2025
The first day of rehearsals is always a mix of excitement and anxiety for me. There’s joy in seeing familiar friends, but another part of me retreats a little, feeling shy and hoping not to draw too much attention from the group at large. That’s when things that usually make me stand out, like wearing a fedora hat or my twirled mustache, tend to take a backseat. I still sometimes worry about what others might think about me. It’s a bit silly, I know, but I’m learning, little by little, to be comfortable in my own skin and to take up space without apology.
““Fashion doesn’t just change how you look; it changes how you see yourself.””
The Fedora That Changed Everything
I still remember the first time I decided to wear a fedora in public. It sat on my dresser for days while I debated whether or not I could actually pull it off. I worried that people would think I was trying too hard or trying to be someone I wasn’t. And sure, I didn’t need to feel that way (I live in NYC after all, where personal style is almost a way of life for some). But when I finally stepped outside wearing it, something shifted. I felt taller. I felt more grounded. Most importantly, I felt authentic.
That one choice led to others: the rings, the curled mustache, the jackets that actually expressed my personality. What once felt like bold experiments became part of my identity. The very things I used to be afraid of became my signature.
When Fashion Becomes Healing
Fashion became more than self-expression for me. It became a tool for healing. On days when self-doubt creeps in, putting on one of my favorite hats or a well-fitted blazer helps me reconnect with my confidence.
Clothes can be armor, yes, but they can also be mirrors. When you wear something that feels right, you see a reflection that matches who you know you are inside - and that’s powerful.
““When you stop dressing for approval, you start dressing for joy.””
Giving Yourself Permission
If you’ve ever hesitated to wear something you love because you’re afraid of what others might think, consider this your invitation to take the leap. Wear the statement piece. Try the hat. Add the rings. Grow the mustache. Not because you need to prove anything, but because you deserve to see yourself at your best.
Confidence doesn’t come from perfection or praise, it comes from authenticity. When you embrace who you are, the world adjusts around you. That, at its heart, is what SUITable is all about: redefining what confidence looks like for men of every size, shape, and story.
Join the Conversation
If this message resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story.
Share your own journey of confidence and style in the comments below, or tag your favorite looks on Instagram with #SUITableStyle.
Let’s keep proving that style has no size, and confidence has no limit. - JH